All-In x Kill Tony: A Hilarious Holiday Special

Summary

The All-In Podcast’s second annual holiday party features comedian Tony Hinchcliffe as special guest, replacing the absent Chamath Palihapitiya. The event combines a roast format, an interview with Tony about his journey and Kill Tony’s success, the hosts attempting Kill Tony-style standup performances, and the annual Bestie Awards covering business, politics, and tech.

Tony Hinchcliffe delivers a brutal roast of all the hosts, hitting Jason Calacanis for his liberal politics and name-dropping, David Sacks for his government work, David Friedberg for his science segments, and the absent Chamath for his SPAC investments and physical features. The interview portion explores Tony’s 12-year journey from sleeping in his car behind the Comedy Store to selling out Madison Square Garden, his controversial Trump rally performance, and his views on free speech and European comedy restrictions.

The hosts then perform their own standup sets, with David Sacks particularly impressing Tony with his roast material. The show concludes with the annual Bestie Awards, covering categories like biggest business winner (Alphabet/Google), biggest political winner (crypto and David Sacks), breakthrough of the year (asteroid Bennu discoveries and humanoid robots), and the “Disgraciad” awards.

Highlights

”Why Billionaires Do a Podcast”

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“You guys realize you don’t have to do a podcast, right? Whenever anyone is asked what they would do if they had a billion dollars, I’ve never heard the answer: attend weekly Zoom calls.” — Tony Hinchcliffe, 6:02

”Tony’s Struggle Years: $300 Rent for a Bean Bag”

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“I paid 300 rent for a bean bag on the ground. And let me remind you, the bathrooms were in the other guy’s bedroom. So you had to tiptoe if you had to pee in the middle of the night through somebody else’s bedroom.” — Tony Hinchcliffe, 23:40

”Elon Buying Twitter Changed Everything”

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“Elon bought Twitter and that was the first event that shifted the momentum.” — Tony Hinchcliffe, 34:21

”Sacks Destroys JCal: The Epstein Files Hoax”

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“I knew the Epstein files were a hoax as soon as I saw that JCal was in them. Couldn’t want to blackmail a loser.” — David Sacks, 42:12

”Alphabet’s Historic $2 Trillion Year”

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“Alphabet went from two trillion market cap to 4 trillion market cap this year. That’s 10 billion market cap gain every day. They added 10 billion of value every day for the entire year.” — David Friedberg, 50:36

”Kill Tony Success: Dedric Flynn’s Story”

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“In just four weeks, he was made a regular randomly. Pulled him out of the bucket. Saw him. The interview so likable. I skipped golden ticket and made him the first appointed regular that we maybe get one of those every two years.” — Tony Hinchcliffe, 54:21

Key Points

• Tony Hinchcliffe Roast (2:47) - Tony delivers brutal jokes about all four hosts, San Francisco’s homeless problem, and the billionaire podcast phenomenon
• All-In Origins Roast (5:24) - Tony jokes that the podcast started during COVID because “people were isolated and looking for relatable content… four venture capitalists playing high-stakes poker”
• Elon Musk Jokes (6:49) - Tony jokes about Elon’s “Roman salute” controversy and using SpaceX rockets for immigration
• JCal Roast (8:52) - Tony calls Jason a “virtue signaling angel investor liberal cuck” and jokes about his $60M net worth making him “the poor” on the podcast
• Chamath Roast (10:41) - Tony roasts the absent Chamath, joking he “bought into the Golden State Warriors because he heard they had Curry”
• David Sacks Praise (12:14) - Tony genuinely praises Sacks for his government work, subverting the roast format
• Freeberg Roast (13:20) - Tony calls Science Corner “Time to Go” as Sacks calls it
• Kill Tony Origin Story (15:01) - Tony explains how Kill Tony started from hosting open mics at the Comedy Store
• MSG Rally Discussion (18:32) - Tony discusses his controversial Trump rally performance and claims it led to a 20% Puerto Rican voter increase in Pennsylvania
• Tony’s Struggle Years (21:30) - Tony shares stories of paying $400/month rent for a couch, then downgrading to a bean bag, then sleeping in his car behind the Comedy Store
• Austin Comedy Scene (25:40) - Tony declares Austin “without question” the best city for comedy, citing Rogan, Elon, Tim Ferriss, Shane Gillis, Tom Segura
• Why They Left LA (28:10) - Tony says comedians moved because California “completely mishandled the pandemic” and police issues during George Floyd riots
• YouTube Censorship (31:28) - Tony discusses constantly changing YouTube rules and demonetization, contrasting with Netflix’s freedom
• Europe Tour Disaster (34:40) - Tony says their June London show was “the worst Kill Tony in the history of our existence” and they may never return
• JCal’s Standup Set (37:50) - Jason performs jokes about his Austin ranch (“now it’s fat-free ranch”), name-dropping, and Sacks building “an app to remind his friends to pay him”
• Sacks’ Standup Set (39:58) - David delivers killer material about JCal’s tequila business, Epstein files, Chamath’s immigration, and Freeberg being a “beyond friend”
• Freeberg’s Standup Set (44:40) - Freeberg jokes about GMOs, Chamath’s legs, and calls Sacks “someone who microwaved John”
• Bestie Awards: Business Winner (50:14) - Alphabet/Google wins for going from $2T to $4T market cap; Sacks picks construction workers seeing 25-30% wage increases
• Kill Tony Netflix Deal (52:57) - Tony reveals a four-special Netflix deal and ranking #2 on YouTube behind Joe Rogan
• Dedric Flynn Story (54:21) - The story of a comedian who put his name in the Kill Tony bucket for 39 weeks before getting pulled and becoming a regular in 4 weeks
• Business Loser: Universities (56:49) - Sacks notes belief that college is worth the cost went from +13 to -30 in a decade
• Biggest Political Winner (61:27) - JCal names David Sacks for his crypto and AI work in government
• Europe Political Loser (64:37) - Sacks calls Europe “a civilization in decline” economically, geopolitically, socially, and culturally
• Breakthrough: Asteroid Bennu (66:22) - Freeberg discusses NASA finding nucleic acids, amino acids, and sugars on asteroid Bennu
• Breakthrough: Humanoid Robots (67:28) - JCal predicts everyone will get their own “C3PO/Freeberg”

Mentions

Companies

• Alphabet/Google (50:34) - Named biggest business winner, went from $2T to $4T market cap, YouTube is #1 media company
• Netflix (31:49) - Ted Sarandos lets comedians “do whatever you want, push it to the limit”
• YouTube (31:28) - Constantly changing content rules, demonetization issues, age restrictions
• Google Cloud (2:01) - Event sponsor mentioned
• Facebook (11:54) - Chamath’s failed projects: Facebook Phone, Facebook Home, Facebook Beacon
• Golden State Warriors (11:06) - Chamath investment joke about “Curry”
• Comedy Store (15:23) - Where Tony started hosting open mics and later slept behind in his car
• UTA (59:34) - Tony’s talent agency helping secure independent film financing
• Warner Brothers/Discovery (57:26) - Named biggest business loser for undermanaging valuable content
• Apple (57:58) - JCal’s business loser pick; “most impressive thing in 10 years is a thin iPhone”
• ChatGPT (51:44) - Discussion of Google potentially overtaking them

Products & Technologies

• Kill Tony (15:01) - Tony’s show, #2 podcast on YouTube, 4-special Netflix deal
• Starlink (67:43) - Sacks’ breakthrough pick for commercial flight internet
• Venmo (23:10) - Tony paid back 18-year-old rent debt with “Rent money 2007” caption
• Twitter/X (34:21) - Elon’s acquisition credited as “first event that shifted the momentum” on free speech
• All-In Tequila (41:19) - JCal product mentioned in Sacks’ roast
• Gemini (65:04) - Freeberg suggests using it to read founding fathers’ writings

People

• Tony Hinchcliffe (2:47) - Kill Tony host, comedian, roastmaster for the event
• Joe Rogan (17:23) - Runs The Mothership comedy club in Austin, #1 podcast on YouTube
• Chamath Palihapitiya (1:39) - Absent from the event, extensively roasted
• Elon Musk (6:49) - Roasted for “Roman salute,” praised for buying Twitter
• Ted Sarandos (31:49) - Netflix co-CEO who gives comedians creative freedom
• Shane Gillis (26:01) - Comedian now based in Austin
• Tom Segura (26:04) - Comedian now based in Austin
• Tim Ferriss (25:55) - Author/podcaster based in Austin
• Gavin Newsom (30:44) - Credited for vetoing SB771 hate speech bill; named political loser by Tony
• Dedric Flynn (54:21) - Kill Tony success story who went from bucket pull to regular in 4 weeks
• Howie Mandel (55:06) - Watches every Kill Tony episode for America’s Got Talent bookings
• Johnny Carson (55:20) - Referenced as the old “sit down” career-making moment
• Phil Helmuth (44:12) - Poker player who was roasted at a birthday party
• Rashida Jones (47:05) - Freeberg’s high school drama co-star in “Inherit the Wind”
• Bill Murray (60:07) - Tony calls Kingpin his funniest work
• Woody Harrelson (60:05) - Tony calls Kingpin his funniest work
• Jensen Huang (69:52) - CEO of the year discussion
• Sergey Brin (52:46) - Returning to Google full-time credited with allowing more risk-taking

Surprising Quotes

“You guys realize you don’t have to do a podcast, right? Whenever anyone is asked what they would do if they had a billion dollars, I’ve never heard the answer: attend weekly Zoom calls.” — Tony Hinchcliffe, 6:02

“I paid 300 rent for a bean bag on the ground. And let me remind you, the bathrooms were in the other guy’s bedroom. So you had to tiptoe if you had to pee in the middle of the night through somebody else’s bedroom.” — Tony Hinchcliffe, 23:40

“Elon bought Twitter and that was the first event that shifted the momentum.” — Tony Hinchcliffe, 34:21

“I knew the Epstein files were a hoax as soon as I saw that JCal was in them. Couldn’t want to blackmail a loser.” — David Sacks, 42:12

“Alphabet went from two trillion market cap to 4 trillion market cap this year. That’s 10 billion market cap gain every day. They added 10 billion of value every day for the entire year.” — David Friedberg, 50:36

Transcript

0:00 Honestly, I think this is like the most fun Christmas party we’ve had ever. Ever. And probably the most fun event we’ve ever had is because of Tony here. Please welcome the one, the only Tony Hinchcliffe.

0:19 What the fuck up you goddamn nerds? Tony, any chance we could play Kill Tony tonight? You guys want to play Kill Tony here? So, you guys prepared for this? You know how it works? We know how it works. I don’t know if we’re prepared.

1:19 Jason, welcome everybody to the second annual all-in holiday party. Yes. Thank you for coming. This is going to be an incredible lineup. We’ve got so many great moments for you tonight. Unfortunately, Chamath couldn’t make it tonight. I know. It’s hard. But we have a pretty great replacement that you’re going to love.

1:50 Hold on. Let me get my script. Wow. Professional. Let me do the sponsor shout out so you don’t do it and we lose them. I would like to thank Google Cloud for their incredible servers. Yes, thank you Google Cloud, Circle for stable coins, OKX, thanks for all the love, Grock, Sonic Flights, Ian has got an incredible lounge. Thanks again for all of our sponsors. Give them a big round of applause.

2:26 Tonight we are going to have the legendary Bestie Awards. We have some roasting and we are all going to play Kill Tony. How many here are big fans of Kill Tony? Oh, that’s incredible. Well, then let’s just bring out Chamath’s replacement. Chamath’s permanent replacement on the program. The three of us voted him off the island. Please welcome the one, the only Tony Hinchcliffe.

3:10 Oh my god, look at this star power. What the fuck up you goddamn nerds? How about a hand for the All-In podcast Christmas party? We’re here in San Francisco. Make some noise. You guys live here in San Francisco? What a shit hole.

3:47 It’s actually worse than a shit hole. You could actually use a shit hole here to put the shit into that’s on the streets. A shit hole would be an actual upgrade. It used to be so beautiful here. You guys remember the intro to Full House? That house is still full because 23 people are living in it.

4:18 Put your phones away, you nerds. You can watch this on video form later. California, more homeless people than any other state. People are struggling and you fuckers paid 500 bucks to watch billionaires talk to each other. God bless America.

4:52 Look, billionaires don’t have it easy. Do you have any idea how hard it is for a billionaire to pretend like they like middle class people? I had to research these guys and it was the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done. Absolute dorks. But then I watched Moneyball on the plane and then Big Bang Theory and Succession and then Brokeback Mountain and I think I figured it out.

5:24 As many of you know, these gentlemen started the All-In podcast at the beginning of the COVID pandemic. It saw massive success very quickly, which makes sense. People were isolated and looking for relatable content. And what’s more relatable than four venture capitalists playing high-stakes poker?

5:49 Their combined net worth is over four billion dollars. You guys realize you don’t have to do a podcast, right? Whenever anyone is asked what they would do if they had a billion dollars, I’ve never heard the answer, attend weekly Zoom calls.

6:14 I do love the current landscape of podcasts, though. Like, how is my show even considered on the same playing field as what you guys do? It’s crazy, right? You can listen to four experts educated on economics and technology and within seconds you can switch over to my show and listen to an Elon Musk impersonator roasting an aspiring comedian with cerebral palsy.

6:37 These guys are all actual friends with Elon Musk. They told me that backstage and then they told me their names. Our friend Elon, of course, got some criticism from the left at the beginning of this year when he was accused of doing a Nazi salute. He said he didn’t do a Nazi salute, but that it was a Roman salute. He could have just said it was an awkward wave and people would have accepted that.

7:09 I don’t know if Roman salute is the best alternative. He went with behind the Nazis, the group who has killed the most Jews. That’s like being accused of visiting Epstein’s Island and having an alibi that you were touring Thailand with Bill Gates.

7:29 Can you guys tell Elon to use his rockets for something positive like immigration? Do you have any idea how fast you can get illegal immigrants back to where they came from on a rocket? I looked into this. It’s 26 seconds from here to Tijuana, Mexico. It’s simple. You take the rocket, you fill it with illegal immigrants, you blast that thing up in the air, right? You let Elon do his fancy little parallel parking thing that he likes to do. You empty the illegal immigrants, you fill it with avocados.

8:08 There are some critics on the left that say the hosts of All-In are all too conservative, calling it an echo chamber. An echo chamber is also how Marjorie Taylor Greene’s ex-husband describes her vagina.

8:36 But seriously, it is an honor to be here at the Christmas party. Remember everyone, Santa is watching to see who’s naughty or nice, and you don’t want to end up on his naughty list. Then again, that would be the second worst list you could wind up on after Epstein’s.

8:52 JCal, his net worth is $60 million. So on this podcast, he’s known as the poor one. He was an early investor in Uber and out of everyone up here, he’s the closest to needing a ride. He refers to himself as the greatest podcast moderator in the world.

9:25 These are the people cheering are the people that have not seen my show. If you get to call yourself the greatest podcast moderator in the world, then I get to say that I’m a virtue signaling angel investor liberal cuck. That’s what you are. Oh my god. Fun fact, Candace Owens thinks that the leader of France’s wife looks like JCal.

9:59 His AngelList flex is the startup equivalent of that guy who won’t stop talking about his high school football championship. Jay Cal and I don’t have much in common. I’m a centrist, slightly right-leaning person, and he’s a full-on liberal. The only thing we have in common is that Chamath couldn’t make it, which is completely disappointing.

10:37 And I’m still, if it’s all right with you guys, I’m going to do my Chamath jokes. Yes. I might do a couple extra ones that I thought were too mean. Now that he’s not here, I had to show up for this thing. He works hard. $1.5 billion. He works really hard at pretending to work.

11:03 He bought into the Golden State Warriors because he heard they had Curry over there. How do these nerds like sports jokes more than angel investor jokes? This doesn’t even make any sense. He’s got vindaloo bread. Indian food jokes, anyone? He’s got a lot of bread. It’s a naan issue.

11:28 He’s the best poker player out of the bunch. He has the most patience because he looks like a doctor. Somebody told me that Chamath has a very hot wife. I wonder what she sees in him. Perhaps the hairy feet.

11:53 Chamath at one point was a senior executive at Facebook where he spearheaded several projects like Facebook Phone, Facebook Home, and Facebook Beacon. If none of those ring a bell, it’s because they were all completely scrapped by Facebook. Hell of a resume.

12:14 How about a hand for David Sacks? Ladies and gentlemen, let me just say I am a huge fan of yours. I just think you’re truly so cool. For a genius like you to take a break from wildly successful businesses to be a patriot and share your brilliant mind for the better of our great nation is unbelievable.

12:45 David Friedberg is here. It didn’t get the laugh I expected. I was supposed to be funny that I just was nice to David Sacks and then moved on. Oh, and to Sacks the Crypto Czar, Michael Saylor asked me to say hello. And if you can do anything, anything at all, that would be great.

13:09 I’m excited to watch Jay Cal follow in your footsteps in 2028 as AOC’s special adviser for plugging your own stuff on air. David Friedberg. He has a segment on the show called Science Corner, or as Sacks calls it, Time to Go.

13:41 David and David, I would like to personally thank you for both elevating the representation of African-Americans among the billionaire class. You know, they say we have wealth inequality in this country. Well, turns out we fixed it. We just outsourced it to better Africans.

14:04 That’s America, baby. You see a kid from Johannesburg with a laptop and he’s a billionaire in 10 years. You see a brother from the Southside with a laptop and he’s in prison. It’s true. The only blackmail on the podcast is whatever the Israeli intelligence has.

14:30 But seriously, to the All-In squad, thanks for all you do to promote healthy discourse and share perspectives across culture, tech, and politics. What you all have built is special and transcends partisanship. I’m honored to be here tonight and I’m very proud to now call each of you my friends. Also, can I borrow some money? Thank you very much.

15:01 That was fun. Tell me a little bit about the just unbelievable 12-year overnight success that is Kill Tony. Yeah, I just built the show that I wanted to do. I was very lucky early on at the Comedy Store to get to host the open mics there, which are three minute long sets on Sundays and Mondays with 40 comedians in a row doing 3 minutes.

15:35 And I would go up after each comedian did three minutes and make fun of them. And every once in a while afterwards go up to them personally and say, “Hey, if you took a breath sometimes or used pauses or sped up or got the mic closer to your mouth, little advice here and there.”

15:58 Me and my friends would always have so much fun sitting in the back of the room watching these open mics. And the things that we would whisper into each other’s ears, I thought were so funny. We’d be in the back of the room. Sometimes we’d be the only people laughing at the open mic because of what we’re saying to each other.

16:22 And I thought to myself during this time in which everyone was saying, Tony, you have to do a podcast, why not show how crazy an open mic can be and the ideas that me and whatever comedian buddies were sitting next to me, if we shared what we were laughing about with the people, I think it could be a hit.

16:48 And even the co-host Redban at the time goes, “Wait, what? Who the fuck is going to want to watch an open mic?” And I kind of thought everybody would. So it turns out worked out pretty well. When I moved to Austin 2 years ago and the first thing people say when they land in Austin is, “Have you been to Kill Tony? Can you get me tickets to Kill Tony?”

17:23 It is a phenomenon. The show is selling out. My office is over there by Dirty Sixth Street and sometimes I’ll walk and get a coffee and there’s 200-300 people lined up on the street. They just go to Joe Rogan’s Mothership just to see where it happens. You’ve now sold out MSG how many times?

17:54 Yeah, three Kill Tonies and once just for my standup, the standup show, and the most recent Kill Tony was all after my famous MSG performance. You spoke at the Nuremberg Rally, yeah. So that was even more special because it was already my favorite arena. In fact, the only reason I really did that event was because I was just excited to feel the magic of Madison Square Garden again.

18:32 Can I ask how did that whole MSG thing come about for the Trump campaign? Because I remember when they asked me to help and I just threw a dinner and when you did it, you delivered a killer set that almost like burned the campaign down. But fake news - 20% Puerto Rican increase in the state of Pennsylvania.

19:15 An uptick because they have an unbelievable sense of humor. Puerto Ricans do. When you do this every night and all the time, you get a really good feel for what you can and can’t get away with, what exactly where is the actual line. And I think in retrospect a lot of people think that the mainstream media trying to make it appear like a comedian did something wrong.

19:43 I don’t think any of these journalists did their research. With a simple Google, you see that I have the most diverse comedy show in the world and that I push the limits on the Tom Brady roast or the Snoop Dog roast and all the roasts that I’ve written on like the last 13 Comedy Central roasts. It’s equal opportunity.

20:33 One of the defining characteristics of building a business is you have to have grit because nothing goes as planned if you’re doing something for the first time. And you get your ass kicked. And if you can deal with that, you can deal with it again and you deal with it again, you can eventually get somewhere.

21:10 You started out in LA. Can you just talk about not just the idea, but then what the process was like going from the idea to having yourself on stage with the future president at Madison Square Garden?

21:30 Oh, it was insane. I was on Rogan this week with John Cena and it came up, but I had this moment a few weeks ago where I Venmoed a buddy because I thought that I owed him rent from 18 and a half years ago. I was renting the couch in a living room with four comedians total. I was one of them. One had a bedroom with a bathroom. Another one had a bedroom with a bathroom and me and there was a little love seat.

22:12 The guy was renting the love seat and I had to pay $400 a month rent. And I literally, even though I was working all the hours from literally 11:00 a.m. on the phones to 7:00 p.m. at night and then I would put on the Comedy Store t-shirt and work the door from 8:00 p.m. till 2:30 in the morning and then do it again the next day.

22:52 Because the Comedy Store hadn’t had its second huge boom yet, they would cut your hours. You wouldn’t even get the hours that you actually did work. I couldn’t make the 400 a month rent. So anyway, a few weeks ago, I said to one of the other buddies that had a room, “Hey, I think I still owe the main guy a few hundred bucks rent.” He goes, “You do? He mentioned it last time I saw him.” And so I went to Venmo and I just Venmoed him a thousand bucks straight up. And in the caption I wrote, “Rent money 2007.”

23:33 But Tony, was there a period during that time when you were going to quit where you said it’s not working? No, these were my favorite times. In fact, after that, after the 400 rent, which by the way, because I couldn’t make the 400 rent, I got downgraded. Someone else moved in that could afford the 400 rent. So, I paid 300 rent for a bean bag on the ground. And let me remind you, the bathrooms were in the other guy’s bedroom. So you had to tiptoe if you had to pee in the middle of the night through somebody else’s bedroom.

24:14 So it was after that actually after basically the first year was that I decided to just start sleeping in the backseat of my car behind the Comedy Store where you weren’t even allowed to park. It’s a tiny parking lot. So, I would be up on one of the hills in the Hollywood Hills and after at 2:30 or 3:00 a.m. when you’re done, I would walk up a hill and get my car and drive it back into the empty Comedy Store parking lot.

24:41 Juan Carlos, the maintenance man there that would show up at like 4:00 or 5:00 a.m., was nice enough to wait a few hours to try to let me get a few extra hours of sleep before he would start nailing stuff and fixing everything. And it’s literally the times now that I have a touch of success. It’s the times that I think about all the time now.

25:06 Every single time I find myself looking at the skyline of Austin from my beautiful home with a crazy outdoor terrace and everything the way that I want it. I think about those times. The struggle all the time.

25:18 Was there a moment where you said, “I made it?” Yeah, I mean it happens quite a bit. The “I made it” thing happens a lot. Every MSG and even the Trump thing at MSG being global news was so insane that not only did I make it, I feel every time like I’m kind of making it again, because there was a couple weeks there where it’s literally tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of people saying or thinking that could be it, that it’s all over.

25:40 What’s the best city for comedy right now? Is it Austin? Is it still LA? There’s no question about it. It’s Austin, Texas. Absolutely. Honestly, you guys are making it sound really fun. You’re there. Jake’s there. Rogan’s there. Who else is there? Elon, Tim Ferriss, let’s go shopping. Shane Gillis. All of his entire crew is there. Matt McCusker, Tom Segura.

26:10 I came and saw you a few months ago when we did that event in Austin. It was incredible. I mean, the crowd. We got hooked up with your guy, got us some tickets, and I was with some buddies and they said, “Let’s go see Kill Tony.” I think I had forgotten what standup comedy was supposed to be like from like the late 90s, early 2000s, even into the 2010s because over the last couple of years, we’ve talked a lot about guys getting their heads chopped off when they said something wrong.

26:39 Chappelle, and everyone got so guarded in comedy. And I went to your show and I was like, “What the fuck?” Like, “Oh my god.” And then you did a bit where you really tried to push the limits. It was a really interesting show to watch because we were sitting next to each other and we were like, “Oh my god, he’s really trying to see how far he could go.”

27:00 But it was so different. And you’ve really given everyone permission to find the limits, to find real humor. Without a doubt. And that’s what we always did. Some comedians when they’re trying to promote their specials or whatever now from LA and New York will say things like, “Oh, Austin, they’re just edge lords.” And it’s like we are the comedy store guys in the middle of the lineup.

27:43 When I go to New York, I can perform at any club there. When I go to LA, I can perform at any club there. So, it’s we just live there. It’s an amazing place to live. It’s an amazing place to go out and drink and eat and listen to music and hang out with people.

27:51 Now, your guys are going mainstream. Your one guy’s on SNL now. Yeah, Cam. And so much is happening. But my point is we’re doing the exact same thing. We’re not like, “Let’s go to Austin and get even crazier.” We’re the exact same people that were in the middle of the lineup at the Comedy Store.

28:10 And it wouldn’t have changed. We would still be in LA if California didn’t completely mishandle the pandemic and let police take such a terrible hit during the George Floyd riots. It was an absolute disaster. That’s why you moved. Yeah. It’s when we all decided to move.

28:32 The pandemic things got so bad at one point that when we were doing our show, which you weren’t allowed to have a live audience, we were still doing Kill Tony’s. You want to talk about plowing through when times are rough? Everybody else’s podcasts during the pandemic skyrocketed. Us, the only show with a live audience was done.

28:58 But we didn’t stop. We had people send in from home a video of themselves doing a one minute set which was horrendous. I mean absolutely terrible. We would Zoom with the people. And by the way, don’t even get me started on all the technical issues. Playing a video, ending the video, starting the Zoom call with somebody that probably doesn’t have the best Wi-Fi. No great comedian knows how to work a computer.

29:53 So, we were doing this and then at one point we were so excited because they allowed the fact that you could have tables outside of the Comedy Store 6 feet apart in the parking lot. The parking lot was empty of cars. Social distancing. Oh my god. The dumbest era of humanity that’s ever existed. I know this is San Francisco, so you’re like, “Oh, he’s the devil.” I think we all thought it was about safety. You got tricked, fuckers.

30:26 Let me ask about Europe. Have you followed any what’s going on in Europe with speech suppression? Oh. It’s insane. We talk about it in our green room all the time. I get weekly updates.

30:39 And do we worry about that? You know, we had this bill in California called SB771 and I got to give a shout out to Gavin Newsom for vetoing it. All the things you want to say about Gavin, but he vetoed it, thank God. And this was this hate speech bill that you can’t say speech that’s deemed hate by the administrators in the government.

31:01 Those sorts of bills are showing up that were in the EU and throughout Europe. I mean, do we worry about that here in this country? Because I’ve always viewed comedy to be the most important test of free speech and it really does define what we’re being given permission to do.

31:21 It’s so interesting because I work directly and I’m insanely in touch with these things on a weekly basis with YouTube, which I do believe is the biggest streaming platform right now. And what’s insane is that Netflix and Ted Sarandos literally is like, “Do whatever you want. Go as hard as you want. Push it to the limit. Let’s go.” And meanwhile, YouTube, every week, something’s different.

31:53 A black guy right now is only allowed to say the n-word two or three times per minute, but they’re not very clear. The interesting thing is that you can say certain words on YouTube, but they have them ranked and the rules change all the time. And you don’t find out that the rules at YouTube have changed until your producer goes, “They just demonetized the episode.” And it’s been out for an hour and a half, which is when everybody’s going to see the episode.

32:52 Or the age restriction is a killer because almost everyone that watches the show is over 18. However, who the hell wants to log in to their stuff? Real people don’t want to. They just like going to YouTube, typing in the show, and there it is.

33:14 But I guess your point Tony is that there are gatekeepers that control the distribution channel, in this case YouTube. Without a doubt. And I’ll say this again, there was a time there towards the end of that last Biden administration in which we were seeing things go the wrong way on almost a weekly basis.

33:58 It was definitely going the wrong way and it felt like every week there’s some new category of thought and expression that you couldn’t say and they were banning new things and then frankly Elon bought Twitter and that was the first event that shifted the momentum. And now the EU is coming after him. They fined him 120 million euros yesterday. It’s like Europe never got the memo.

34:34 It’s over. Will you guys tour in Europe or is it like not working? We did. We just did in June and unless they basically give us Buckingham Palace, we’ll probably never go there again. It was the worst Kill Tony in the history of our existence. The comedians were just terrible. And we’ve done quite a few in England and Ireland. The vibes there are rough. There’s just this never-ending gloom in London. The food is beyond all horrible.

35:16 They used to be funny though over there, right? We were going to the locals like, “Please, anything. Where can we get a steak? Where can they overcook us a steak?” It was crazy, man. Everything became a running joke because we got there a few days early. That’s nine terrible meals in a row.

35:48 We have the best food in the country in Austin. It’s unbelievable. We have hundreds of restaurants better than anything we tried of the fanciest crap in London. And they open seven new ones a week. It does say something about society when comedy is appreciated more in the Middle East than it is in London.

36:08 Hey, Tony, any chance we could play Kill Tony tonight? You guys want to play Kill Tony here? Is it true? Did you guys prepare something? Well, please. This is Callie, our elegant elf. You guys have your own Heidi. That’s amazing. That’s a San Francisco Heidi. So, she has a penis.

36:47 This place is ridiculous, by the way. You guys all better be wildly successful for living here. I walked outside of my hotel earlier. There was literally two dudes banging against a tree. I looked the other way and there’s a guy taking a shit on the sidewalk and a lady walks up to me and tells me to put out my cigarette. What is going on with San Francisco?

37:13 So, you guys prepared for this? You know how it works. You get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know that your time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. All right, this is All-In Kill Tony, ladies and gentlemen.

37:50 Going up first. Make some noise for Jason, everybody. Well, many of you know I moved to Austin and I got a ranch and I also lost 40 lbs. So, now it’s a fat-free ranch. Thank you. Yeah, I went fat shaming.

38:09 I’m a little nervous about doing a minute up here. I don’t know how I’m going to get through a minute without interrupting Sacks. Tony, I’m a huge fan. I’m a big fan of yourself, Joe Rogan, Redban. People say I name drop a lot, but I just got a text from Elon. He says that’s not true.

38:33 It’s great to be here with three of my besties and a new one. We’re missing Chamath. Now, some people say Chamath is a douche. I don’t agree. I don’t agree because women get something out of a douche. I thought that one would land.

38:54 Sax, my Jewish friend here, is the… Oh, God. Okay. I don’t know if I should say this one. Go for it. Okay, I’ll do it. Sax is the only Jewish guy who built an app to remind his friends to pay him back. All right, that’s my time everybody. Thank you.

39:28 What do you do for a living? I’ve got a podcast or two. So, how hard did you prepare for this? I guess 2500 podcast episodes later. When you were writing this material, were you planning on doing the joke and then turning and seeing if we were laughing each time? That could have been a tactical mistake. Sorry.

39:58 I can get three narcissistic Asperger’s venture capitalists to show up every Thursday and tape a podcast. That’s my only trick. That’s amazing. Good answer. You know what, Jason? I think you did just fucking good enough. Come on back and sit down.

40:24 Well, this is my fucking guy, ladies and gentlemen. As you know, I love him. You love him. Make some goddamn noise for the one and only David Sacks.

40:38 All right, Tony. Thank you so much for being here. I loved your roast of Puerto Rico. You went so hard after a Latino island. And I’m shocked President Trump is still calling it part of America.

41:11 JCal, I’ve been following your feed this week. I really appreciate your support for All-In Tequila. I know you love it because you finally get to take a shot at something. It was only a matter of time before JC got in the beverage business because I’ve never met anyone more thirsty than JCal.

41:41 He spent his entire life dreaming of the day he would see his name mentioned alongside the world’s most influential people. Congratulations, Jason. You finally did it. You’re in Epstein’s flight logs. I knew the Epstein files were a hoax as soon as I saw that JCal was in them. Couldn’t want to blackmail a loser.

42:23 All right, let’s talk about Chamath. Chamath is a prime example of why unlimited immigration is not in America’s best interest. Chamath is from Sri Lanka. Tony’s description of Puerto Rico didn’t offend him because he was born somewhere worse.

42:47 Chamath has angered so many investors. SPAC now stands for “seriously pissed at Chamath.” Sacks and Freeberg are sold into science. So, what can I say about Freeberg that hasn’t already been said about watching paint dry?

43:05 Freeberg lives life as a vegan, and that’s exactly what it feels like to hang out with him. You know, there are more satisfying options on the menu, but you made a decision and now you’re stuck with it. You’ve all tried those tasteless Beyond Burgers. Well, Freeberg is our beyond friend. All right. Thank you everyone.

43:34 David Sacks, ladies and gentlemen. Unbelievable. Sacks, you’re good. I got to tell you, man, that was unfucking believable. I wasn’t expecting to have to do this tonight, but I think I just found a new opener. Have you ever done stuff on stage before in a non-business sense?

44:07 Well, we’ve done a couple of roasts among our friends at birthday parties before. We did a JCal roast. We did a Phil Helmuth roast. There’s a lot of material in both of those cases. Yeah, my 50th birthday, we actually did a big roast. These guys were all part of it. So, we had a little bit of roast experience.

44:40 Are we going to have Freeberg do his set? We want to hear Freeberg. Let’s do it. Tony, hype me up. Let’s go. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for your final comedian of the night.

45:05 So great to be in San Francisco. The streets are like Chamath. They’re totally full of shit. Thanks for being here, Tony Hinchcliffe. I love the show. I’ve worked in agriculture for years, so I’m used to working with genetically modified organisms. Tony Hinchcliffe’s actually a GMO, a gay man obviously.

45:30 Chamath couldn’t be here tonight because he’s feeding the hungry. Just kidding. That’s below his line. Speaking of hungry, JCal, you’re looking great, buddy. Now you only have to buy one seat on Epstein’s plane.

45:46 JCal, your weight goes up and down more than Chamath’s SPAC portfolio. In fact, you look so skinny now I confused you for Chamath’s legs. Chamath’s legs are so thin he wears socks, leggings, and thermals. He covers up more than Sacks does for the Trump administration.

46:10 Sax, congrats on all the success, but the stress is clearly getting to you. You look like someone microwaved John Malkovich. All-In is what Sacks says when he’s betting on something with other people’s money.

46:27 We’re all so different. I’m just the science guy. I study black holes while Chamath invests in them. Here we are enjoying the holiday spirit together. I know the things I said tonight might be a little mean, but the world’s already burning. Figured I might as well burn some bridges. All right, Christmas tree.

46:51 Have you ever done anything again non-business like performative historically? A play? A little play, acting growing up, a little musicals. Here’s a factoid no one knows. I actually starred in a play with Rashida Jones. You know Rashida Jones, the actress from Parks and Rec. We were in the same high school and we were in the drama stuff together. What was the play? Inherit the Wind.

47:25 When you’re writing jokes like this, what was your process? I just like to shoot the shit on the computer and then edit it. I like putting on music. We were playing some music and then I just… I kind of did them for Sacks and I went a little scorched earth for his 50th. Do you remember that? Yeah, I definitely remember.

47:53 Freeberg gave a set that was so bad. It wasn’t bad. It was just mean. It was like autistic strength applied to roast. It was so mean you didn’t realize it. It stopped being funny.

48:29 That was my 50th birthday, so it was like 20 years ago. That little self-deprecating. We did some amazing birthday party roasts. Jay Cal had one. I had one. We went to Phil Helmuth’s. We never recorded them. We were kind of afraid. We were afraid of getting cancelled. But now we’re uncancelled. We don’t give a fuck.

49:11 Freeberg, my cadence is a little off. I got to go one or two more rounds and I think I can get the cadence down. I liked it. I had some other material I pulled out. I would like to try that at some point.

49:24 I thought there was some A+ material in there. All right. Respectable. That’s what we wanted to do. We have a tradition. We give some Bestie Awards. These are the best of the year. And maybe our elegant elf Callie can come out and present us with the fifth annual Bestie Awards. Here it is. As you can see, it’s two very heterosexual men embracing.

50:14 First up on the Bestie Awards is our biggest business winner. Who did you have for biggest business winner? Sultan of science: Alphabet. Okay. Alphabet went from listen to how crazy the year was for Alphabet. From two trillion market cap to 4 trillion market cap this year. That’s 170 billion gain. 10 billion market cap gain every day. They added 10 billion of value every day for the entire year.

50:53 The pivot in AI, risk-taking, cloud’s growing 40%, YouTube’s the number one media company in the world. It’s all under one roof. I think they just crushed it. All cylinders. Business of the year.

51:07 Sacks, who did you have as your biggest business winner? I said construction workers related to the data center boom. They’re seeing their wages go up 25 to 30%. We’re talking about plumbers, electricians, drywall hangers, concrete pourers. It’s not just tech companies. We’re seeing a larger boom throughout the country because of AI.

51:33 I too had Alphabet and Google. We were sitting here a year ago. Everybody thought they would absolutely get killed by ChatGPT and now we’re having a discussion, “Hey, ChatGPT is probably going to get killed by Google.”

52:01 What happened to ChatGPT or what did Alphabet do this year to surprise you guys? They put AI into search. So now when you go to search there’s like an AI interface that pops up and so that’s how they drove people to their AI product because they’ve got the biggest consumer product in the world, google.com and then they had a good product and so they put the two together and suddenly they’re crushing ChatGPT.

52:29 Sometimes the first company up the hill takes the arrows like Netscape, the browser, eventually wound up losing. But I think they were also underestimated and they probably were very conservative in how they released products and then they kind of got permission when Sergey came back to work full-time at Google, the founder. They kind of took more chances.

52:57 My big business winner is the show Kill Tony. I don’t know if you guys have heard about it. A four special deal on Netflix, which is unprecedented by any show. And also we ranked number two at the end of the year on YouTube only behind my very best friend Joe Rogan. So that’s pretty crazy.

53:20 Tony, can I tell you something? When I came and saw your show in Austin, I hadn’t seen a Kill Tony show before. And then I came back and I’m like, “I should watch Kill Tony.” I would say I’ve watched maybe a hundred episodes since I’ve come back. It’s so addictive. It’s timeless the content. Every night when I’m ready for bed, I’ll put on YouTube and I’ll watch a Kill Tony episode. It is literally like my go-to media now.

53:51 The live is the gateway. I highly recommend checking one out live because you can feel while it’s funny to watch online, when it’s live, you can feel the opportunity of failure that they have. You’re like they’re right there. Anything can happen. This could go terribly wrong. It feels dangerous.

54:21 That guy you had a couple of weeks ago who you made a regular. Dedric Flynn. That guy was insane. In just four weeks, he was made a regular randomly. Pulled him out of the bucket. Saw him. The interview so likable. I skipped golden ticket and made him the first appointed regular that we maybe get one of those every two years.

54:46 Cut to four weeks later last on this past Monday, he literally did a rap about how rich he is already. Like he did a whole rap performance about quitting next week. He’s like, “I’m out of here.” The entire industry is watching Kill Tony to see what’s actually next. I am the first line of defense. Howie Mandel watches every episode and they get booked on America’s Got Talent based on if they’re unbelievable on Kill Tony.

55:20 Remember like Johnny Carson used to be the thing where a standup would go on Johnny Carson and if Johnny invited them to sit down then they had a career and you’ve kind of become the new that.

55:25 But he’s kept it fair. What’s crazy is Dedric, he put his name in the bucket for 2 years to get called. So, he moved to Austin, 39 weeks in a row and he was just about to stop trying and then he got pulled. And so unlike all these other guys where there’s control systems in Hollywood with agents and producers, these guys all have a democratic shot.

56:09 They have an open shot at getting in that bucket and getting pulled, which is what I love about it. You never know what you’re going to get and it’s like everyone has a shot. So, it’s not like this control thing.

56:39 Even Jake, biggest business loser. Who’s your biggest business loser? David Sacks, who’s the biggest loser? I said universities. The margin of Americans who now believe that college is worth the cost has gone from plus 13 a decade ago to -30. Wow. So no one believes that college is worth the cost anymore.

57:03 What do you think Freeberg? Warner Brothers Discovery. I think the fact that the M&A deal is being done at three times the value that this thing’s been trading at for the last couple years really shows how they undermanaged the business. The content itself is worth so much more.

57:38 I went with Apple. This company has unlimited distribution and unlimited capital and the most impressive thing they’ve done in the last 10 years is a thin iPhone. What a missed opportunity. Maybe the best thing they’ve done recently is Severance. I don’t know if you guys are watching that. Literally, if I’m thinking their streaming show is the best thing, they’ve got a problem.

58:12 Who’s the biggest loser in comedy right now? The biggest loser really are these giant movie studios which still are virtue signaling and afraid to take any chances whatsoever. The last movie with any edge at all in a theater I think was The Hangover which I think was 2006 and it made a billion dollars that franchise.

58:47 Are they coming to you asking you to do one? I would think that would be a very natural play but there’s no studio who would do it. We are working on something and it’s going to be great. You heard it here first. We went and got independent financing for it, my amazing team over at UTA.

59:40 Are there films that informed this one? Are you a Tropic Thunder film fan? Without a doubt, and it’s an odd pick because it’s not the one everybody thinks that I’m going to say, but Kingpin with Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray, I think, is the best Farrelly Brothers film. I think it’s the funniest thing Bill Murray’s ever done. I think it’s the funniest thing Woody Harrelson’s ever done.

61:02 I had a bunch of seven and eight-year-olds over for my daughter’s birthday party and we did a film. So, I said, “Oh, you guys should watch Bill Murray in What About Bob?” And this was like a loved film, PG. I thought this would be fine. And in the film, they use all these words like “dick breath idiot.” And then I went to school the next day and three parents cornered me here in the Bay Area.

61:27 Okay. Biggest political winner. Well, this may be a talking point, but I’m going to say crypto. A year ago, there was a war on crypto. They were worried about going to jail. Now, we’ve passed legislation. We’re getting a fair shake from the government. It’s total change.

61:48 I had your pick, Zionism, I also had the America First movement that’s burgeoning. But I gave it some thought and I thought, my lord, there’s one individual who part time went to the government and took crypto and made it legal and created a framework for it. They made sure that America would be absolutely competitive in the AI race, the most important race of our lifetime. So hands down, my biggest political winner of 2025 is Mr. David Sacks.

62:26 Political winner for you, Tony? You don’t give a fuck. What do you think? A political winner for me? I mean, I really, again, I’m just a big fan of this president. People can say that I kiss ass and that comedians shouldn’t. There’s this thing that I’ve been hearing where people are like, “comedians should be punching up, not punching down.”

62:56 Well, if everybody is making fun of that one thing, then I think it’s kind of funny to go the other way. So, I literally have in my standup set pro Trump jokes, which nobody’s fucking doing. Which one lands the most? I make fun of his autograph. If I say he has the most obnoxiously cool autograph in the world. It looks like Lizzo’s heart rate.

63:23 By the way, he does have the best sense of humor. Must be of any president we’ve ever had. Anyone who spent time with him is just blown away at just how funny he is. All the best comedians talk about how he might be the funniest human being on planet Earth. This is a conversation I’ve had. I’m talking about the actual best comedians in the world.

64:14 Okay, let’s go. Biggest political loser, Sacks. My biggest political loser is Europe. It’s a civilization that’s in decline. They’re losing economically, geopolitically, socially, culturally, and they can’t seem to reverse that trend. It’s very sad.

64:52 Political loser Freeberg? The founding fathers. Because I feel like free speech, property seizure rights, we read these excerpts from Thomas Jefferson letters. There is so much of the principles of the founding fathers that are lost in how we are kind of devolving into this organizational system where the government is everything in our lives.

65:46 The individual liberties are being taken from us. We’re voting for a government that dictates our lives, that controls what we eat, how we live. I think the majority of Americans today live on checks from the government. And I think that the founding fathers would have been really saddened at the state.

65:51 I went with Steven Miller. I felt his performative cruelty was a detraction for the 47th administration. And that’s a shame because I loved his band. Mine’s Gavin Newsom. I mean, the hair is great. Yeah. Great hair. That’s enough for you liberals to be impressed by. Oh, he’s got hair. Fucking amazing.

66:19 Let’s go with breakthrough of the year. Freeberg, what’s your breakthrough of the year? Okay, we haven’t talked about it on the show. This definitely deserves a science corner, but asteroid Bennu, NASA sent a probe. They pulled a bunch of samples up. 2020, they landed back on Earth 2023. 2 days ago, they showed that on asteroid Bennu, there is nucleic acids. There are amino acids, there are sugars, all of the building blocks of life were found on this asteroid floating through space.

66:43 Can I ask you a question? Did the asteroid make it to Uranus? This is great, but I honestly think just for a brief moment before we make the jokes, this is going to end up being one of the most like amazing discoveries of our lifetime because it really does show that life is not necessarily unique to planet Earth. This asteroid has been floating around for 4 and a half billion years and it’s got all the components of life on it. It’s pretty incredible discovery.

67:13 And it is made out of sugar. It’s got sugar on it. It’s got glucose on it. Freeberg, how many times have you masturbated to this asteroid so far?

67:23 My breakthrough of the year is humanoid robots. I think we’re just underestimating the progress these will have. Everybody’s going to get their own C3PO/Freeberg. So we won’t be the only ones with a robot in our lives.

67:41 Sacks, what was your biggest breakthrough? I just said being able to use Starlink on commercial flights. I mean it’s like you can actually use the internet now. Hold on a second. I’m calling bullshit. You haven’t been on a commercial flight since Clinton was in office. I was doing it for you guys.

68:16 When were you last on a commercial flight? I haven’t been on a commercial flight since 2012. What do you do? Jake, what’s the Wi-Fi password on the private jet? Apparently, it’s one, two, three.

68:48 Each host gets to pick their Disgraciad of the year. The most disgraceful moment, person, company, or trend. Tony, whenever you’re ready, you can give us yours. But Freeberg, who’s your Disgraciad?

69:17 The crackdown on speech in Europe. 3,000 plus arrests in the UK for malicious communication, mostly fines, but also incarcerations, including recently calling a convicted rapist a pig and landing someone in jail. 84,000 politically motivated communications crimes in Germany. 6,000 defined hate crimes based on speech in France across Europe. This has become a major issue.

69:52 I would agree with that one, but the one I would choose is that at Stanford they said that if you’re disabled, you get more time on tests and you can kind of be unproctored. So now 50% of students at Stanford say they’re disabled. And this is all part of a piece with grades. Basically, there’s no grades anymore and everyone sort of claims to be disabled in order to get special advantages. Disgraciad.

70:30 My Disgraciad was socialism in New York, my hometown, absolutely disgraceful. The actual true New Yorkers didn’t vote for it, but the people who’ve been there for under 10 years did overwhelmingly.

70:48 Tony, who’s your Disgraciad for 2025? I’d have to say the people that just cheered that people won’t be leaving California next year in this crowd is the Disgraciad. You guys realize there’s other places, right? I was guilty of it, too. I lived in LA happily for almost 20 years. I never thought I would move to another place.

71:18 When you do try other places, you find that it’s better than this. And the world is laughing at you. And some of you are booing, but you’re clearly not the ones making the money off the app that shows you where the shit on the sidewalks is in this hot dump that you call home. So anyway, you’re the Disgraciad.

71:50 I love it. Bringing the heat. See, I’m a real wrestling fan. I’ll do a heel turn. You had them. They loved you for 90 minutes. Burning attack. That was not only a heel turn. It was a low blow. It was a chair shot over the head of the entire audience.

72:14 And what’s perfect is that half of them now won’t bother me at the afterparty. It’s a win-win right there. Listen, this has been absolutely amazing. Let’s give it up for the one, the only Tony Hinchcliffe. Your friend is unbelievable.

72:35 I need to thank Tony. Tony, thank you for what you do. People don’t have to agree with your speech. I feel it’s really important that comedians act as the flag bearers to keep freedom of speech alive. For all the jokes we can make about the things you say and the way you offend people, I think that pushing the limits is so important. And for that, I appreciate what you do and love your work.

73:10 Honestly I think this is like the most fun Christmas party we’ve had ever. Ever. And probably the most fun event we’ve ever had is because of Tony here. No question about it. So thank you.

73:30 I’m just kidding audience. You’re not really that much of a Disgraciad. But it’s walking it back. They were with you until that. These nerds are having flashbacks to getting bullied back in the day. You just stuffed them all in the locker metaphorically.

73:48 We’ll see you all next year. We really appreciate all of you coming out tonight. Thank you guys so much for coming out. Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect from this. And honestly, this is the most fun we’ve ever had during an event. Happy holidays. Let your winners ride.